Patience - Quintessence of Effectiveness

 Every once in a while we get agitated. Agitated with our personal life, professional life, our identity, our status quo ... Even though we might realize that agitation is futile, we might find it hard to wrench free from its grip. On self introspection, we would realize that agitation is the result of impatience. There are shortcuts to achieving any of our goals. For e.g.:, If we want to climb up the corporate ladder, we could reach by guile and chicanery. While this might seem easier and faster, having reached the summit, it will be hard to sustain. If we rather go through the grind, to reach to the top, we would have had ample time to metamorphosed as a person, that would help us reach even greater peaks. But this would take a long time, might be even a life time. At times, we might even retrograde. But this is what makes a "gem" literally.

 In fact many of my previous articles which talk about genuine interest etc. takes a lot of time and patience. Even though we might have genuine interest in a person, in a cause etc., it would be difficult to garner trust and support from everyone. People would suspect the authenticity of the cause, the ulterior motive. It takes time and patience to build trust and confidence. Without patience, it would be easy to get agitated and lose heart.

 How then to remain patient. The solution as you might have already guessed by now, is in reiterating the spiritual principle of life - letting go. Attachment breeds impatience. The more we are attached, the more we want to expedite the end result. Expediting might often push us into making the wrong moves, and retrograde. Let us not be attached to our results, goals, identity etc. Let us put our best foot forward, and let the results take its natural course. Then we expend our energy only on doing our job well, and relieve ourselves of the baggage of accomplishment. If not anything else, it arrests impatience and agitation.

What do you say?

Negative criticism

 In our lifetime, we receive negative criticism a whole lot more than positive feedback. In my opinion, criticism is the catalyst of human evolution. It serves to weed out those characteristics in the human ecosystem which are not conducive to evolution of higher capabilities of the species. Despite the fruits that it bears, the one at the receiving end hardly finds it palatable. Where lies the problem? Is it because of the nature of the receiver or that of the deliverer ?
 Scouring the annals of my mind, the typical pattern that strikes me first is, that the person criticizing with negative feedback, definitely intends to make his disapproval known. And the one receiving the flak gets defensive and feels cornered. So there is the conspicuous negative intonation to it.
 Is it then possible to give a positive twist to it and is it worth the while? These are the questions that I will unravel in this post, with spiritual leanings of course.
 When I started , I used "criticism" and "catalyst of human evolution" in the same breath. So you have all the reason to believe that I am inclined to consider it positive. You are right. Right from the time our cognitive skills kicked in, we have been goaded with smiles and grunts, we have been praised and reprimanded for the right / acceptable and the wrong. Without negative criticism there would be no agreement on what constitutes a civilized society. Hence I am convinced that it is worthwhile exploring the possibility of meting out negative criticism with positive intonation ! This is where my spiritual leanings come to play.
 It is both for the receiver and the deliverer to view it from the lens of spirituality. It is important to let go the sense of ego and understand that it is not humane to be right all the time, and appreciate that all souls are equal, no one is above another, and that every one's view needs to be respected. This will help the receiver open up his mind and see the kernel from the chaff. And will help the one meting out the criticism to provide objective / constructive feedback which will help evolve the individual. This is a definite win-win !

What are your thoughts?

Honing influential skills

 This is a topic that is relevant both to our professional and personal life. In the corporate world, people are often times measured on the level / impact of influence they have / can create. And in our personal life, we are trying to influence our spouse, friends, kids all the time. How can one effectively influence others ? In my early days I have read books on how to improve your negotiating skills and have tried implementing too.
 To my mind, trying to influence others can in a way be viewed as controlling their sense of being and their sense of existence. And "control" as we all know and have experienced is a C that everyone resists. Compassion, Camaraderie and Congeniality are the 3 Cs that work. Trying to control others, or trying to change others to our bent of mind is a faux pas. The obvious solution is then to execute the 3 Cs that bring in the positive results.
 But of late, I am beginning to wonder if consciously trying to work on the 3 Cs with an ulterior motive is manipulation in its very core. And it seems to be conflicting with my spiritual notions and principles of life.
 In my personal life, I have tried to "let go" the desire or want to influence others. And I must admit that, I feel liberated. Because, all along, in the process of influencing others, and trying to be very like-able , agree-able etc. (the 3 Cs), I was not being myself. I was manipulating and in the processing manipulating myself and loosing my identity. I was able to "liberate" myself from the clutches of manipulation , by simply following the lucid principles of spirituality , that I have dealt with in many of my previous posts.
 Would be interesting to discuss others' perspective on this and what they have adopted in their personal and professional life. And what with the confluence of spirituality and metaphysics? The notion that mind, thought etc. are matter and particles which can be influenced and controlled by our will. Would it be spiritually ethical to control the outcome of others (people, systems etc.) to our benefit?

How to cope with a person you hate?

 It is more than likely that in the course of our life, we will come upon people / person we hate, and worse, might even have to spend ample time with them. What then is the recourse?
 To arrive at that, it is first important to investigate reasons for hating a person. From my experience, the reason we hate someone is because that person might be threatening our "ego". What is ego by the way? One of the meanings available in the dictionary is "The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves." Ego typically has a negative connotation, but the verbatim meaning from dictionary seems quite innocuous . It might not be immediately obvious as to why "ego" is considered evil. But on closer observation, you will find that, when you consider yourself "distinct" from the world and other selves, you begin to expect a life that is superior to others. You want to distinguish your self by having superior patronage, clout, name, fame, money, love, affection etc. And so when a person threatens / subjugates your distinct self (i.e. your ego), it hurts, and you will want to hurl this person out of your life. You will start hating this person.
 So much for the meaning of ego. But how to escape from the predicament of having to deal with such a person? The solution is then to turn it on its head. Do not consider yourself "distinct". The "cosmic consciousness" is the idea that the universe exists as an interconnected network of consciousness, with each conscious being linked to every other. By this definition, we are all one and the same. There is no distinct self. Why then should we hanker after distinction? The moment you realize this, you will stop hating someone. For e.g. , consider for a moment that you hate your colleague, because the person is not massaging your ego, or worse threatening to destroy your ego (i.e. superior patronage, fame, name etc.). But what if you do not consider yourself distinct, and what if you do not feel the need to get superior patronage or fame. Would you still hate this person? The answer will be a definite NO. This is one of the important lessons from our scriptures. The soul and consciousness transcends the physical form, knowing that, do not hurt or harm others, do not consider one superior to the other, and bliss is assured.